HAS APPLE JUMPED THE SHARK?

No. But, they will turn bending into a feature.

10595-2916-iPhone-test-1-xlI have been with Apple long enough to know this unfortunate event will only inspire them to design a flexible iPhone, or innovate off the clam shell design, making folding chic once again.

If not iPhone 7, then certainly iPhone 8 will tout the phone’s designed flexibility.

In their quest to go thin, Apple ignored their own quality control standards of making products gorilla proof. Which is just a metaphor for minimizing all of the ways humans can cripple their own user experience.

Microminiaturization operates under a law of diminishing returns and rigid bodies  will bend if they are long and thin enough. Did Apple’s engineers fail to account for this unwanted affect, or were the engineers loathe to say no to Sir Jony Ive? As Apple’s chief design engineer, he sets the tempo at which these incremental reductions occur, technology permitting.

This is very embarrassing to Jon Ive and his team of design engineers. Chiefly because he’s lost touch with how his products are used and abused. He looks upon his creations as works of art,  that are treated with the respect due a polished, precision instrument,  but he completely overlooked the x-factor; Stupidity.

How anyone bends their phone is beyond me. First of all, I’m reluctant to hand anyone my new phone, for fear they’ll drop it. The novelty of a new iPhone alone makes me want to treat it with caution and so what I’m seeing in the news gives me pause. Is this on purpose? Or do people really sit on their phones?

How could anyone be so careless as to bend their phone when the initial reaction to iPhone 6 is, “Whoa, this is thin.” followed by a slight tightening of the muscles gripping it. These phones are pricey and should be treated a bit more gingerly, I would think.

Unfortunately for Apple, its competitors will make a mockery of iPhone 6 and its flaccid engineering.

You can’t overlook Samsung’s felonious conviction for Astroturfing* either. We’ll soon be reading about how they were caught paying people to bend their phones, followed by a class-action lawsuit calling for an iPhone that doesn’t bend. Crazy stupid comes out of the woodwork, where Apple is concerned.

No, rather than stop the miniaturization of Apple products, Apple will use this world-wide implosion to implement a strategy for flexible meshes, circuitry, and components for future products.

My guess is, in the near future we’ll see them incorporate fulcrum-like physics to support a two-piece, flexible cage/frame and perhaps rubber glass impervious to cracks and scratches will be developed too?

No one knows how this will affect Apple but one thing is certain, Apple will turn this into a positive and marketable feature.

Cheers!

g4dualie

 

 

 

*Urban Dictionary: The practice of astroturfing is a widely used form of propaganda, as evidenced by the media coverage it receives.

Photograph courtesy of The Verge

I Must Be Me If iPhone Let’s Me In.

iPhone 6 is tomorrow’s space age memorabilia.

applejobNoteworthy refinement at a glance and well-seasoned to please even the most fussy millennial. iPhone 6 is our ticket to the interstellar passages of time and space; being everywhere at once and nowhere at all or, doing everything at once while doing nothing at all, we decide. We are the captains of this ship.

iPhone empowers us to keep the world at bay, diverting the flow of queries and quandaries as we sail through our day. By attacking the number of gestures needed to propel us through the gauntlet of checkpoints in our daily lives, Apple’s iOS 8 has finally laid a foundation for moving sidewalks and escalators at our feet.

Fifty-years ago, no man of property was without a pen nor wallet who didn’t value their signature and identity more than life itself. Today that meme is fading. Just as pencil is great for sketching and ink is for real, iPhone  6 has eclipsed the pen and wallet by an order of magnitude to become Me, sans the hologram and stained pocket.

A finger print truly is our identity and the gateway to the man in the mirror.  A simple handshake with iPhone opens the front door, therefore, I must be me if  I can unlock my iPhone and iPhone can unlock my home.

If my secret handshake opens the door to the most private chambers of my life, then unequivocally I am who I say I am. iPhone is my passport through life, and now a magic wand that opens doors with the wave of my hand.

I exist in iPhone therefore iPhone is me.

It stands to reason, an iPhone by any other name would be me and pass for “ze papers” to anyone in charge. My identity has impregnated my smart phone and I treat it as a child with care.

The smart phone is a technoalbatross of the 21st Century for anyone living on the grid. It sifts through the metadata of our mind, trying to make sense of our lives, so we should all buy the smartest one available. If you’re going to mold your life into a smart phone, keep it real.

Keep it Sixes & Eights.

iPhone 6 is now its own solar system expanding every day. It’s not some pixellated galaxy adulterated by queer genesis, born in the mindset of the business interests who delivered the first unoriginal Electric Sheep.

This iPhone/iOS soulful system will light up like a New York skyline on a moonless night and move like wild-fire as millions more migrate to Six & Eight in the coming months.

iPhone 6 represents a better and brighter future for the connective collective, and what matters most to us; an ethereal existence with these extremely personal devices that brings us closer with greater frequency, but does so with unparalleled ease, is at the top of everyone’s list who values their Time & Identity.

iPhone is a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas in a big way and buy me one of these!